Really stepping out with faith on this blog. This is extremely the open heart of myself. Gotta get this out though...
To eat, breathe, and sleep it. Is it really worth it? Things tend to consume us and we don't even realize it. We realize when we are at our wits end and feel like falling apart. When the knock on our heart's door feels like a bang instead. So what do you do? I found myself crying out to God last night. Asking Him a million questions and just rambling to Him at times. Searching for answers, searching for what's next. Trying to do His job, trying to fix all in one night. Tears streamed my face while I asked why, streamed my face when I couldn't do anything else. Then all I could pray was for God to take complete control. Not partial, but 100% complete control. A total surrender to Him.
The weight is to heavy for us to carry a burden alone. Sometimes a burden seems twice as heavy when we think we can handle it on our own.
I sat here last asking questions and talking to God about things I should have done a long time ago. Searching for answers I should have been looking for a long time ago but I thought I could do it on my own.
Seems like I have thought that more than I should. I have let people and things get in the way of living my life the way God wants me too. The past few months have made me grow tremendously but I still have a lot of growing to do. Look back at how many times I have let God down and I hang my head in shame. But I am not perfect by no means and thank goodness He knows that. Thank goodness I am forgiven.
Things consume us so fast. All sorts of things, they vary from person to person. Anything from drugs, alcohol, to worrying about the perfect person for you or if you made the right decision. I am tired of being consumed by things that God will work out into His plan in due time and on His time. Not my time. Someone told me today that they think I have buried feelings so that I just won't feel them. And whether I wanted to hear that or not... I knew deep down that they were right. God has a way of using people to get His point across to you.
I remember that close relationship I had with God a few years back and that desire to have it again burns inside of me. I am slowly moving along in the right direction, changing things has they come along. I am learning that I can't be "big and bad" all the time and I can't bury my feelings deep down inside.
God started knocking on my hears door a few days ago, but I didn't pay much attention. By Sunday morning on my way to church, He was about to beat my door down. Literally crying on the way to church I began to say, "Ok, Lord, what is it that you want that I just ain't getting?" God spoke through the message at church yesterday morning. And has spoken abundantly today through various people. It's funny how God works. But at least he works to our favor. I still am not sure of what God is trying to get me to see and show me but eventually He will reveal it. So for now I will work on not burying my feelings and work on get the ones I have buried out. Good days and bad days lie ahead, but it is all how you look at them.
Yesterday made me realize just how far I have came along but just how much more further I have to go. I will take it day by day. Knowing that God is working on you and trying to show you gives me pure goosebumps... To know He loves me enough to have me in His plan his awesome in itself.
God continues to knock on my heart's door and He will one day show me. Until then... He knows what He is doing I gotta let Him run the show.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Proud of where I come from....
For those of you that do not live local, the Wiregrass (Dothan area) lost a member of it's community on October 24, 2011 fighting a war overseas. I am not writing this blog to talk about whether you think it's right or wrong for the soldiers to be overseas. So don't comment if you think you want to voice your opinion. This blog post is about something much more serious than who is right and who is wrong.
Today I got in my car on my lunch break to run a few errands. My radio tuned in to a local station. The DJ said they would go commercial free and play songs in honor and in memory of a fallen solider. One solider that was a local. From a little town outside of Dothan. He was only 22 years old. I do not know him or his family but my heart breaks for them. I have prayed continuously for them all day for today was a tough day. As I was driving, the DJ announced that this solider had finally made it home. And a procession was about to start. I had heard a couple of days ago about this fallen solider on the news. But never did I think that the community would do what it did to pay such awesome respect to this solider and his family.
The community lined along the highways that the family and the funeral home vehicles would travel from the airport to the funeral home. American flags flying, signs held high, silent prayers be raised as the procession passed by. I listened intently with tears streaming down my face. Song after song played each one making me realize something different from the song before it. Tears continued as I thought to myself this is where I come from!
I come from a community, a part of this Country that cares for those that they have never seen and some will never see. I am proud to say this is where I come. Where respect is most important and others are just as important.
A friend of mine was standing along the highway and told me that the amount of people that turned out was just amazing. Photos show the support that the Wiregrass Community gave this fallen soldier's family today.
I am truly blessed to be able to say I am from the south and I am from a Wiregrass community!!! I wouldn't trade my small town life and ways for anything in this world. I am proud to say that this community that we (those of you reading that are locals) are apart of knows how to show the LOVE and make a someone feel the LOVE. Never did I imagine that many people would show. But once again, this small town living is awesome.
To the family and friends of this fallen soldier, my prayers are with you. I pray God wraps his lovely arms around you. Thank You to this fallen soldier for fighting to keep us safe back home.
We tend to forget how important these soldiers are... We get to wrapped up in what's right or what's wrong. For once just pay your respect to someone that was "just doing his job!" Besides if you were in their shoes wouldn't you want the same?
I am Proud of where I come from... South Alabama living is for me. Always has been and always will!
Today I got in my car on my lunch break to run a few errands. My radio tuned in to a local station. The DJ said they would go commercial free and play songs in honor and in memory of a fallen solider. One solider that was a local. From a little town outside of Dothan. He was only 22 years old. I do not know him or his family but my heart breaks for them. I have prayed continuously for them all day for today was a tough day. As I was driving, the DJ announced that this solider had finally made it home. And a procession was about to start. I had heard a couple of days ago about this fallen solider on the news. But never did I think that the community would do what it did to pay such awesome respect to this solider and his family.
The community lined along the highways that the family and the funeral home vehicles would travel from the airport to the funeral home. American flags flying, signs held high, silent prayers be raised as the procession passed by. I listened intently with tears streaming down my face. Song after song played each one making me realize something different from the song before it. Tears continued as I thought to myself this is where I come from!
I come from a community, a part of this Country that cares for those that they have never seen and some will never see. I am proud to say this is where I come. Where respect is most important and others are just as important.
A friend of mine was standing along the highway and told me that the amount of people that turned out was just amazing. Photos show the support that the Wiregrass Community gave this fallen soldier's family today.
I am truly blessed to be able to say I am from the south and I am from a Wiregrass community!!! I wouldn't trade my small town life and ways for anything in this world. I am proud to say that this community that we (those of you reading that are locals) are apart of knows how to show the LOVE and make a someone feel the LOVE. Never did I imagine that many people would show. But once again, this small town living is awesome.
To the family and friends of this fallen soldier, my prayers are with you. I pray God wraps his lovely arms around you. Thank You to this fallen soldier for fighting to keep us safe back home.
We tend to forget how important these soldiers are... We get to wrapped up in what's right or what's wrong. For once just pay your respect to someone that was "just doing his job!" Besides if you were in their shoes wouldn't you want the same?
I am Proud of where I come from... South Alabama living is for me. Always has been and always will!
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